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My life, 2010: Updates!

January 8, 2010

So, I’ll start my new 2010 postings with a little update of my life that is more in detail:

In September of 2008, I moved into my very own apartment in Detroit.  It was awesome, and I absolutely loved the place (besides the bugs, but hey – when you live in the city, that’s what you get. )  I met some fabulous people who lived in and around the building and had the best time living there.  At the time I moved in there I was still dating my current boyfriend, Kyle, and I still am to this day.  In September of 2009, I moved into Kyle’s house with him.  Hid dad passed away in October 0f 2008, and he just recently purchased the house.  We now live south of Detroit in the suburbs.  I have to say that I absolutely LOVE the house, and I love living with the best man I know.  Things are great.  I will admit, though, that sometimes I miss my independence.  I do still have it here though – so it’s basically the best of both worlds.

Kyle is the love of my life!  It’s been about two years that we have been together now, and I couldn’t be happier with him.  We have had our ups and downs, but have come out strong.  He is an amazing man and he has been there for me through the darkest times of my life, as I have been there for him.  I couldn’t ask for a better soul mate.  As I mentioned in a previous post when Kyle and I first got back together, he was my first love  – my high school sweetheart – the one boy who ever really and truly broke my heart.  When you’re 16 and madly in love with a boy, it’s hard to ever forget him or let him go.  And here we are six years later, together and loving each other more than anything in the world!  It’s so funny how things  work out.

I first started this blog to vent my feelings and experiences during my trivial time of dating an American soldier, which was of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my young life.  I still speak with him – he is my friend, and he is well.  I am glad, however, that I did start this blog, as it is so very interesting to look back at what I have written and actually see my own personal growth through my words and experiences.

I just graduated from a university in Detroit, and I am looking for a job.  College was an amazing experience, and to be honest, I can’t believe it’s already over!  It honestly flew right by.  Everyone always says it will, but you never believe it until it’s over before you are ready for it to be over.   My degree is in public relations, and I have to say I love it.   I wish I would have double majored in voice and PR, but hey, I can sing on my own time, which I still do.  I have had some fabulous experiences in PR – interning at several great organizations and for the university’s theatre department.  I cannot wait to get a job that I will love, and although that may take a while with this depressing economy, I will do what it takes until I get it!

I am still singing in the cover band and it has been one heck of an experience for me.  Singing in a band is completely different than anything I’ve ever done, and I have learned SO much.  The musicians in my band are beyond amazing!  Great people and unbelievably talented.  One of my best friends even ended up dating the lead male singer/keyboardist in my band, and they are perfect together.  Again – how funny the way things work out in life!  I can only hope that one day I can do some original music as well as covers, just for the fun, experience, and my unbelievable need to express myself through music and lyrics!

As for my friends, I have the best friends a girl could ask for.  You know how they always tell you that after high school ends, you never talk to the same people?  That ended up as a lie for me, because I still hang out with some of my best friends from both middle school AND high school, and I love them all so much.  I’d be nowhere without them!  Of course I have met some of the most wonderful people in college, and I love them just as much.  Family is good too – my Aunt and Grandma are the most amazing people and have been there for me no matter what, and I can honestly say that I wouldn’t have made it to be this successful in life without them!  My little sister is a junior in high school now, and I can’t believe how much she’s grown up and how proud she makes me.  I love her with all of my heart, and it is so comforting to know that she will be a part of my life forever.  My family, Kyle, and my friends are the most important things to me and they are what makes my life complete!

I think I have given a detailed update of all the major things in my life to this point, so now I can go on about my day today.

Things have been utterly boring lately!  I went from working a job, singing in the band, taking classes, and working an internship to doing almost NOTHING!  Don’t get me wrong, I love and absolutely need my breaks, but now I am just beyond bored.  I have got to find a job!  I have had a ton of things go wrong lately, though, and it has been a hassle.  I am now a victim of credit fraud, which is definitely NO fun.  So much to deal with – police, banks, credit companys, etc.  It irritates me!  I bust my butt to make a measly dollar – and these people steal my information and just spend my money!  Go get your own job and make your own money!  Thieves make me so mad – everyone else works hard to support themselves and their family, and here you are stealing what I worked hard for.  It’s just crap!  So, I’ve been dealing with all that lately and a bunch of other responsibilities.  Being an adult is never fun.  You know, it’s funny how when you’re young you want to grow up so fast, but when you’re older, you want to be young again!  How funny that we always wish for what we aren’t or what we don’t have, and when we have it, we want to go back!

Since I have no job and nothing to do,  I’ve been cleaning the house a lot and doing whatever I can to keep busy.  Being stressed out means not sleeping well, which hasn’t been fun either.  The best thing that has happened this new year is that Kyle and I have decided to go on a diet and eat healthier, and we have really been sticking to it!  I am starting to enjoy cooking (and I used to be the WORST cook in the world) and eating things that are healthy – and it’s fun to control urges to eat so crappy.  My one goal is to map out the career path I want and find a job that will take me there.  I am going to be positive and make this my year to get everything on track!  It is nice to have time again and be able to do things I actually enjoy and start to make things go MY way.

I think I have rambled enough for the night, so I will leave you with these song lyrics (Bomshel – Fight Like a Girl) that both inspire me and make me cry all at once:

“Hold your head high.
Don’t ever let them define
The light in your eyes.
Love yourself,  give them hell
You can take on this world
You just stand and be strong
And then fight
Like a girl.”

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January 7, 2010

I cannot believe I went an entire year without writing one post.   Here I sit at the beginning of 2010, when my last post was just before the beginning of 2009.  I think that I should start blogging again.

So much has changed!  I moved out of Detroit (sigh), I moved in with my boyfriend, and I am a college graduate.

From here on out I think I will start blogging daily.  I have a lot to say – and a lot of experiences worth talking about (to me, at least.)

I will end this short blog post with an excerpt from something I wrote in a notebook a few years ago, that I found today.

“I think in some way or another, everyone who has crossed my path has taught me something, or added another piece to my life.  I guess there is no way to escape responsibility, but I think it’s sad that we all get so caught up we forget what life is really about.  I think it’s about getting out there every day and making each day the best day.  Soak in all that you can.  Talk to people.  Help people.  Be yourself.  Explore, travel, get out while you can.  I think I realize money problems are endless, which is a shame.  How said it is that money controls life.  Maybe I sound like a total hippie.  Who am I kidding?  I don’t even do half the things I preach.”

And with that said, I vow to try and do those things I preach this year, and every year to follow.

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Reflection.

December 17, 2008

It’s  been a long time since I’ve written.  I’m finally done with the fall 2008 semester and have some time to catch up a little bit.

Reading through some of my past entries is like a blast from the past.  It’s amazing how much I’ve changed and grown over the years.  You can see how one chapter closed, another one opened, and now here I am again… with an empty canvas.

I’m in my senior year of college, about a year away from graduating (it’s taking me a bit longer than 4 years). I am dating the same guy I was dating a year ago now (Kyle) and still have the same jobs.  However, I feel I am just ready for change.  I’ve been looking for internships and new jobs, and I’m learning all I can about my future career.  I’ve been waiting for a break to happen; something to change.  Boy, did it come!

I’m in a band!  If you’ve read any of my past entries, you know that I’m a singer.  Whole-heartedly, I love singing with every bone of my body.  It is my dream; my escape.  I recently just met a cover band who was looking for a new female singer.  I auditioned, and the next day they wanted me to play their show with them.  Needless to say, I’m in!  It’s a dream come true, and I can’t wait to play shows and do what I love, not to mention get paid for doing so.  It’s going to be amazing.

I can’t believe how close I am to being done with school.  It’s a little scary, but I’m looking forward to a new chapter.  I really want to move out of Michigan and experience the rest of the country, even the rest of the world.  I have lived here my whole life and I’m just ready for something new.  I know that this is my home and I feel I’ll always end up back here, but I have to take the time to find who I am and experience all that this life has to offer.  I think now is the time I need to just be me; to do what I want and not answer to anyone.  To just be free and live the life I wanna live, without anyone holding me back.  I don’t know.  I think it’s more about finding myself; figuring out what I want and what I don’t.  Being who I am.  Discovering who I want to be.  I know I’ve grown up a lot in the past few years, but I know I have a lot more to go.

Kyle’s dad past away in October.  He was like a second father to me.  It has been very rough on him, me, and our relationship.  After reading all the comments I received on my entry “I miss my mom,” it made me think of him.  I know he’s up there in a better place, with my mom, and they’re watching over us; watching us grow and become who we are.  It just makes me realize life is a crazy circle, a neverending chain of events.  It’s funny that the only constant thing in life is change itself.

This is not a bitter or sad entry, rather a somewhat reflection of the past year.  It’s been hard work.  There’s been a lot of tears, a lot of love, and a lot of change.  At least I can say I’m prepared for a new year.  Bring it on!  Hope everyone has wonderful holidays 🙂

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Random Facts.

July 1, 2008

I’m sitting here at work super-duper bored, so I’m making a list of random things about me.

Hereeeeeee goes!

1. My favorite food is chicken.  I could eat it for the rest of my life.

2. In fact, I just really love to eat.

3. I love romantic and or cheesy movies about life that make me cry.

4.  I REALLY want to travel.

5. I’m jealous of people who don’t really have to work and can travel where ever they want.

6. I couldn’t live without my phone.

7. I hate working.

8. If I could, I’d hitch-hike my ass around the country.

9. I love it when the sun is shining.

10. I like to help people and give advice when I can.

11. I’m a party girl.

12. I actually enjoy learning.

13. It makes me feel good when random people smile at me on the street.

14. I want to live in a BIG city.

15. But I would love to live on a farm too.

16. The one and only thing I want for Christmas this year is medical and dental insurance.

17. I wish our government didn’t suck so bad at so many things.

18. I think there should be more help for young people who are thrown out on their own.  Just because your 21 doesn’t mean you have enough money to support yourself.

19. I used to want to be a journalist, but I don’t think I’m that great of a writer.

20. My number one dream is and always has been to be a singer.

21. I really want to make friends from all over the world and go visit them.

22. I LOVE meeting new people.

23. Softball is my all time favorite sport, and I love watching baseball.

24. I’m kind of a tomboy, and very competitive.

25. I would have never made it through my teenage years without my friends and their parents.

26. I’ve had a lot of hard times but gained a lot of great experiences out of them.

…More to come later, I’m already bored with this…

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Life; as of now.

April 21, 2008

I haven’t written in forever, and although I’m writing now, I still don’t feel I have much to say.  I’m not in a particularly good mood today and I’m not quite sure why.  After a LONG winter here in Michigan, it’s finally starting to become nice outside again.  And let me tell you, it is LONG overdue.  Usually nice weather puts me in a good mood.  Too bad I’m stuck in a dingy office in the poorly ventilated, no window-ed student center basement.  *sighs*

Not much has changed since I wrote last.  It’s almost the end of April, and the semester is coming to a close.  I have three exams this week, and I’m DONE.  I can’t wait.  I’m just really hoping I pass my math class.  I’m still dating Kyle.  I’m really close with his family and his dad just got diagnosed with leukemia.  It’s been really hard on him, his family, and even myself even though I don’t show it much.  Just another thing I don’t understand about life–why bad things happen to good people.  I haven’t talked to my dad in a long time; he really doesn’t make any effort to contact me or to be a father to me or my sister so I really don’t care to have much to do with him.  I know that sounds bad, but it’s a long story. 

Hmm, what else is new.  Oh.  I got another job at Hockeytown Cafe downtown.  I’m a hostess.  Working two jobs and going to school full time sucks.  Paying bills sucks even more.  Hah.  I actually like Hockeytown so far, the people are really cool.  I don’t really like working 10 hour days, though.  Opening day I worked 14 hours, and that sucked.  But I’m realllly glad baseball season has finally arrived!  GO TIGERS! (even though they haven’t been doing the best.)  Oh yeah, and the Red Wings are doing well too, which rocks. (even though it causes me to work more. lol)

Well yeah, other than all that, there really isn’t anything else going on.  My life has been pretty boring.  I’m looking forward to summer, though.  My 21st birthday is coming up!  Kyle and I are planning a vacation to Myrtle Beach, as well as some trips up north.  I’m playing co-ed softball for two teams.  I was going to take some classes this summer but I think it would end up being a waste of money, considering I probably would never really go.  hah.  I just need to get through this week and maybe my mood wouldn’t be so shitty.

That’s all for now I suppose. 

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Nothing new, really.

March 13, 2008

It’s definately been a while since I’ve written.  Life has been crazy busy and so much has changed in the past few months.  It’s crazy how that happens, isn’t it?  Well, I guess not too much is different, but at the same time it is.  Right now I’m on spring break.  I think it’s finally going to start getting warm out soon!  I’m so sick of the cold weather and snow!  It’s been a long winter that’s for sure.  There is only 2 months and 18 days until my 21st birthday and I am STOKED!  Today is actually my roomate’s 22nd birthday and we will be celebrating it tonight at our apartment with beer pong and jello shots.  Should be a good time!

I am kicking ass in school right now.  I have been doing really well.  I just need to get through these classes and get into all my major classes.  My major is now Public Relations and so far I have loved most of the classes in the curriculum. 

What is that you say? Relationships?  Ahhhhhh, those damn things.  lol!  Well, I have a boyfriend again.  His name is Kyle, and actually we dated back when we were 16; he was my first love.  We are back together and there has been a lot of drama along the way with ex’s and many other things, but I think that things have finally started to take a turn for the better.  We are working on our relationship day by day, and really, we do love each other very much.  We’ll see how it goes.  All I can do is go day to day and work on finishing school and making something of myself.  And hopefully, things work out with him.  As for Elly, he and I are still friends, although we really don’t talk anymore.  He re-enlisted for 3 more years, which I’m a little upset about.  I just wanted to see him experience life outside of the army, but apparently he’s not ready for that.  It’s funny how our breakup changed his entire future.  But I guess that’s life. 

Other than that, there isn’t too much that’s new.  I still work at school, but I also just got another job at Hockeytown Cafe downtown.  Opening day (for baseball!) is March 31st and I am sooo excited.  I have to work which kinda sucks, but it’s going to be insane and all the radio stations will be there (at Hockeytown) so it should be a good time. 

Well, I’m gonna go take a shower and what not.  Just wanted to update a little.   

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2008-so far.

January 29, 2008

I haven’t written in a while.  A long while.  This post may not be very long due to some keyboard difficulties, but this is the first time I’ve felt compelled to write about anything in a long time. 

 I guess it comes down to doing what you love.  And being with who you love.  I don’t think my future entails doing autopsies, or impressing someone else’s boss, or just doing something because someone is lending me the helping hand to do so. (I’ll explain later).  I think that I have realized if I want to get somewhere in life; if I really want something, then I have to do it myself; I have to do what it takes to get that particular thing.  I don’t think I’ve taken the time to just enjoy life in the past year.  I have never been one to say that.  I love everything about life; all the simple things–sunshine, the smell after it rains, a smile from a stranger, laughter with friends, BASEBALL, music, SINGING, writing, and-belive it or not-learning!  When I was little, I actually liked school.  Even though it’s a pain in the ass, I enjoy learning.  I will say that there are many bad things in our world-hate, war, poverty, greed (need I go on) and I learn that there are these things everyday.  Since college my mind has been extended more than I could have ever imagined, and it’s funny to me that I blocked so much out before.  But, beyond all the bad things, I’ve come to really appreciate all that I have; all the little and amazing things that I get to experience every single day of my life.  I’m just like any other normal American, really- in debt (wayyyy in debt) a broke college student trying to get a degree so she can eventually make her way out of debt (even though college is really what put her there), trying to decide the job she will do for the rest of her life (or at least the immediate future after college :p ) working (to support herself through college), maybe have a relationship (aren’t those always interesting), occasionally party with friends (good times), probably couldn’t live without the internet or a phone (I really couldn’t), and is really just trying to work her way through life. 

I can’t even get over how much I have grown as a person in the past year.  I mean, I know that it’s a new year now, but wow.  A year ago, on this exact day, I was a completely different person.  I like who I am now.  I think that I am really becoming comfortable with myself as a person.  I’m getting to know myself better and realizing that I can do what I want.  I can do what makes me happy.  And I only can make my dreams come true.

I think this summer I’m going to go and watch my dad play softball.  I haven’t done that in a long time.  My relationship with my dad hasn’t been good in a long time, but, for some reason, I just feel different lately.  I just think life is too short to waste time worrying about the past.  Live in the present, work on the future.  I think I’m going to look into singing more.  I know I really say that a lot and I really never do, but I’ve been thinking so much about it.  I haven’t sang in a while-and damn I miss it.  My major is Public Relations, and so far I really enjoy it.  It’s a little more broad than journalism.  This is my blog, and I just write freely.  I don’t really care how good it sounds.  It’s my thoughts and that is that.  I can write though, if I want to.  I can be good at it.  I’ve thought a lot about it, and there are lots of things I’m good at.  I just feel-so-motivated right now.  If only I could really keep this feeling.  This inspirational feeling that makes me realize that life is just too short to not do what you enjoy- to not give what you love your all.  You’ve only got one life to live so you better make it the best, and you better believe that I plan to start living again, full throttle. 

I don’t know if anyone has even read this in a while- but I’m sure those who have before may want to know a few updates.  So, here goes.

I’m dating a new guy named Kyle.  Well, he’s not exactly new, he was my first love.  But somehow life has brought us back together.  So far we’ve had a lot of ups and downs, but it’s a work in progress.  We’ll see how it goes.  I feel happy with the situation right now. 

As for Elly, he decided that he wanted me back.  It was just a little too late that he realized it.  He blew me off for long enough, and when he was finally coming back, it was just too late for me.  I had really let it go.  I was moving on.  I still care about him a great deal, and he taught me so much about life and has made me who I am today.  He definately played a huge part of my life, and even though he hates me now for not taking him back, I’m sure we’ll be friends at some point in the future, when we’re both comfortable with it.

School is good.  I still work at school.  I need a new job.  I have been volunteering at Henry Ford Hospital.  Kyle is an autopsy technician there.  I am trying to get a job in the hospital.  So far, it’s not looking good; but so far, I haven’t tried very hard.  Not a job doing autopsies, just any job in the hospital.  I need a better job. 

Other than all that, things are okay.  I feel good.  And I’m really happy that I am realizing what I need to do in life, and getting back down to earth with things.  It’s weird how you can just have these thoughts and changes in one night, isn’t it?  Ahhh, life.  🙂